This Is Me Trying To Get Started On Christmas Eve

Christmas carols are playing on my lap top and there's a feeling of calm and peace in the air. As I type this post, preparations are under way for the barbeque tonight...and I am salivating as thoughts of perfectly marinated grill lamb float in out of my pre-caffeinated brains. My car smells like baguettes...not complaining though...it's a nice smell...a yummy smell. And how can Ichi Ban Buta not smell like baguettes? That was A LOT of baguettes in my trolley last night (ha ha...totally emptied Tesco's shelves)...people actually stopped to stare. I felt like telling them, "I like my baguettes, okay?!!! You got a problem with that?!!!" Then I would give them a troll like sneer and walk away. Ha ha ha! The baguettes are for the grilled garlic bread tonight, in case anyone is wondering. I think I will skip my lunch today.

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Okay, before I go, this is a list of 'me' that I penned down in Sept, 2004 in case I developed amnesia and needed to get to know myself all over again. Say what?!! Don't ask. I don't know why I think of these things. Amnesia indeed! Anyway, it was amusing going down the list because I realised that I have not changed much. Hhhhmmm, I don't know whether that's good or bad...more bad I reckon. But here it is anyway...with my comments in red (comments from my 2008 self that is):

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I don't smoke. (Still don't)
I drink somewhat. (Ha ha...yes, still somewhat!)
I hate capsicum and milk. (With a passion)
I have the gift of sleeping. (Thank God still do...as soon as my head hits the pillow)
I love traveling.
But only with the right sort of people.
I hate hypocrites.
But sometimes am one myself.
I like most alternative music. (And now indie groups too...and melancholic song writers)
I also like Simon & Garfunkle and the Carpenters. (So sue me!)
I love my mum dearly.
I am funny. (Damn perasan even back then)
I am also serious.
I love reading and buying books.
My diet is not very healthy. (You don't say)
I have three best friends since kindergarten.
I love cheese and caviar.
I collect pigs. (Not live ones)
I love driving. (Still do)
I love my dad and bro too. (No choice...ha ha ha)
I was a good student in school. (Again...damn perasan...why did I put this in?)
I can be very outspoken and loud. (Me...the shy one? Must have gotten this wrong)
I am a big fan of the Formula One Grand Prix.
I do things obsessively. (I draw a blank on this one)
I have an improving sense of direction. (Still improving...Ju and Div...no commenting here!)
I am a jeans and shirt gal.
I value memories...sad and happy.
I love to throw things away.
I love to cook when I have the chance.
I love to do art work.
But hardly have the time.
I like my eggs sunny side up.
I prefer noodles over rice.
I could drink tom-yam every day. (And I did...for an entire week)
I value my true friends deeply.
I am a thinker and a brooder.
I love curling up in bed with a good book.
I also love hanging out with my buds.
I like brainless romantic films.
If they're British all the better.
But I prefer dramas.
I like guys with lucious lips.
I don't like people taking advantage of other people.
I hate violence and any senseless lost of life.
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How I amuse myself. Yes I do. But it's time to go. Finished The Graveyard Book (Neil Gaiman) last night. Wonderful. Loved it and was oh-so sad when it ended. Made me think of The Jungle Book...somehow. Okay. Really going. Need to drink my coffee. Need to wake up. Need to get my tum tums ready for the barbeque tonight...that's motivation enough to drag my ass (pardon the language) to the shower.

An Entry For December

I have started this post so many times. I have started. I have paused and then I have deleted...again and again. I don't know why. Perhaps I am not ready to summarise this year...yet. Like the years of the past, this one is fleeting and I am grasping at its tail, asking it to slow down. But like any constant, it doesn't, it continues. So, that doesn't leave me much of a choice. I either blog now or December will be left post-less...a sad sad affair seeing how my determination to blog at a more frequent pace has twindled down, down, down towards the end of the year.

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But I can feel myself digressing.

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In a nutshell, 2008 has been a year filled with many bitter and many a sweet memories and many a firsts. After many years of not being around for the Chinese New Year celebrations, Jess and myself flew up to Penang to be with our Tai Yee...after stuffing our faces silly with steamboat the night before. Our first flight with Fire Fly. You don't want to be without your hand sanitiser in one of them planes. Maybe things have changed now. I hope. My first time voting (and the rakyat spoke up and was heard!). First interview for a promotion (yes, in all of my nine years in the hospital) and then waiting for what seemed like an eternity...and eternity of assumptions. And yes, my first promotion...the sweet yet humbling taste of victory. My first resignation letter (thank you Christie fot the Malay translation). My first hunting for a place of my own. My first time driving on the WRONG side of the road. My first time in Vegas. My first time in KK as a tourist...and not just doing the airport-swanky hotel-airport route. A lot of firsts...many that I can't recall just right now (hey, I turned 30 this year...I SHOULD be allowed to forget things)...but it has all been good...even when it was bad...it always ended up good (this may not make much sense but bear with me).

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I have learned much this year...seen much. Had my heart broken to a kazillion pieces. Had it put together again. Experienced first hand how some people can be rats...evil to the core. A harder lesson learnt is that these people sometimes disguise themselves as friends. I found out that back stabbing is such an easy feat that many have black belts in this discipline. People lie and snitch to get what they want and to get out of difficult situations...some of these people call themselves my superior. I guess that I have always known this...but experiencing it is something different altogether.

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But yet, I am ending this year on a positive note. Though this year has been a year of changes and has brought about many difficult and life changing decisions to make, I am thankful...for the Hand that has and always will continue to engulf mine. I am thankful for those I call my true friends...my loved ones. I have been blessed with a terrific care group filled with terrific (and crazy...I guess that you could call them terrifically crazy) people. I am thankful for His provision...it has been sufficient and MORE. I have been blessed with faith...in being sure of what I hope for and certain of what I cannot see.

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Dear Lord, I end this year with You. Next year is also Yours. And the one after that...and the one after. I don't know what it holds...but I know that You know...and that's enough for me.

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Merry Christmas and a great year ahead!